june 10th, last day of school. i was half crying because we spent the last period together with students that are leaving. I said to myself that i'm not going to cry, because it's embarrassing. but when a few of my friends sang true colors from glee. damn, i could not hold my tears.
seeing Stevano standing there in front of his locker for the last time, cleaning up his stuff, brought back lots of memories and how sad that he's leaving to Seattle and will not be with us everyday, in the canteen and even on saturdays where we would spend our time watching new movies in the cinema. oh i'm sure going to miss him.
anyways, today's 15th and it is the last day i will be here in my house, before i escape to a beautiful country on the other side of the world. San Francisco, here I come! I sure can't wait to spend my summer with glenys in Berkeley University :D
Last time i went there.. it was 10 years ago. I know nothing, except that fricking red bridge where i still remember the tour leader said lots of people jump and died. what good memory to keep, not. haha so anyways, this time would absolutely be different, i will shop in Union Square searching for bandage skirts and cropped loose shirts :D
Packing went well so far, halfway done :) tomorrow is gonna be a busy day wohoo. although i'm gonna miss my parents and friends, but i'll see them next month! i could not be more thankful that i have this chance to go abroad because without my awesome parents i wouldn't have the experience to do any of this.
June 15, 2010
April 09, 2010
friday, 09 April 2010.
i suck making titles, i wish i could just write blog 1, blog 2, blog 3.. but anyways,
it's 12.15 am,and it feels like i have been awake since yesterday (since now it's already saturday). I should've been under my warm cozy blanket right now, but because i took 3 hrs of afternoon nap, jdi belom ngntuk, blaah. this first week back from the holidays has been very very tiring. cause i have to reset the time i wake up every morning and also time when i have to sleep which is like so early; around 10-11 --" on school days, i wake up at.... 6.10 while on the holidays i wake up around 10-12 . .
so i have to adapt to it quickly, i guess.. but what's really bothering me is that i suck at everything that involves with sleeping and staying awake. i struggle to stay awake for one full day; i have to feel sleepy in certain times, like in classes. i can't stay awake like almost of my friends can even though i sleep like 3 hours earlier than them. When i'm sleepy i force myself to open my eyes, but i couldn't stay focus and hear to what the teacher say. In the end of the each class, i come out with an empty mind. You know there are times that we can't talk for the whole period (like exams, tests, or mr. Joel's class discussion about mockingbird)it would be the hardest for me because i won't do anything except to sit quietly like a statue.
when it comes to tests, i'll go blank thinking that the questions are ridiculous cause i haven't even heard anything about it, but actually i should have heard it, cause the teacher discussed it but i was sleepy and busy trying to wake my self up. sigh.
anyways, what happened again today was that my mom's self esteem got a little bit too high, she expects everyone to respect her, i understand that she's older and everything. but sometimes i just can't stand the way she talks to my maids, drivers and even when i tell stories about my friends. she underestimate people too quickly (without realizing). having negative thoughts about them even without knowing the person first. i got pissed and i told her to think about what she wants to say. Actually i was in a good mood to go swim with her in the evening, but cause she's so annoying, i took my 3 hrs nap.idc. I love her, and I know i wouldn't have any better mom than her, but sometimes i just hate her for being really mean and straightforward to other people; it's like she doesn't have a heart to feel what if she's in their shoes receiving all the comments.
it's 12.15 am,and it feels like i have been awake since yesterday (since now it's already saturday). I should've been under my warm cozy blanket right now, but because i took 3 hrs of afternoon nap, jdi belom ngntuk, blaah. this first week back from the holidays has been very very tiring. cause i have to reset the time i wake up every morning and also time when i have to sleep which is like so early; around 10-11 --" on school days, i wake up at.... 6.10 while on the holidays i wake up around 10-12 . .
so i have to adapt to it quickly, i guess.. but what's really bothering me is that i suck at everything that involves with sleeping and staying awake. i struggle to stay awake for one full day; i have to feel sleepy in certain times, like in classes. i can't stay awake like almost of my friends can even though i sleep like 3 hours earlier than them. When i'm sleepy i force myself to open my eyes, but i couldn't stay focus and hear to what the teacher say. In the end of the each class, i come out with an empty mind. You know there are times that we can't talk for the whole period (like exams, tests, or mr. Joel's class discussion about mockingbird)it would be the hardest for me because i won't do anything except to sit quietly like a statue.
when it comes to tests, i'll go blank thinking that the questions are ridiculous cause i haven't even heard anything about it, but actually i should have heard it, cause the teacher discussed it but i was sleepy and busy trying to wake my self up. sigh.
anyways, what happened again today was that my mom's self esteem got a little bit too high, she expects everyone to respect her, i understand that she's older and everything. but sometimes i just can't stand the way she talks to my maids, drivers and even when i tell stories about my friends. she underestimate people too quickly (without realizing). having negative thoughts about them even without knowing the person first. i got pissed and i told her to think about what she wants to say. Actually i was in a good mood to go swim with her in the evening, but cause she's so annoying, i took my 3 hrs nap.idc. I love her, and I know i wouldn't have any better mom than her, but sometimes i just hate her for being really mean and straightforward to other people; it's like she doesn't have a heart to feel what if she's in their shoes receiving all the comments.
April 02, 2010
firstt one (:
So this would be the first time i'll be writing something for probably no one to read (at least that's what i think).
I had the thought of writing about my life in a form of "dear diary" but it never worked, i end up filling it once a year, and the first sentence i would write would be "sorry for being too busy this whole year that i haven't got the chance to tell you what happened".. it's lame cause it's only a freakin paper that would not be mad even if you burn it.
Then, my friends started to make their own blogs, they tell stories; everything for everyone to read. i found it weird because i think that i should keep everything to myself, while my friends are doing the exact opposite. Some had their own youtube account and they often updated their life events through the videos they make. and still, i find it weird, cause why would you want to talk to yourself and record it. .?
i guess later I found out that the problem is in myself. i'm really that shy to let my feelings out, afraid to hear what people might say about it. But oh well i'm making it anyways, thanks to wo de hao peng you glenys who told me to make one for fun and a way to express myself :)
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